NoStart House
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Let me start by saying that [http://trollpasta.wikia.com/wiki/OHYEAHMRKRABS#PART_1 Dumb Ass] was addicted to weed.
We were friends in college and continued to be after I graduated. Notice that I said "I". He dropped out after two years of barely cutting it. After I moved out of the dorms and into a small apartment, I didn't see Dumb as much. We would talk online every now and then (AIM was king in pre-Facebook years). There was a period where he wasn't online for about five weeks straight. I wasn't worried. He was a pretty notorious flake and drug addict, so I assumed he just stopped caring. Then one night I saw him log on. Before I could initiate a conversation, he sent me a message.
"David, man, we need to fuck."
That was when he told me about the
NoStart House
. It got that name because no one had ever reached the Starting door before dissapearing. The rules were pretty simple and cliche: reach the first room of the building and you win 500 cash moneys. There were 69 rooms in all. The house was located outside the city, roughly 666 miles from my house in some place called "Bikini bottom." Apparently Dumb had tried and failed. He was a weed and scat porn addict, so I figured the scat got the best of him and he wigged out at a paper skeleton or something. He told me it would be too much for anyone. That it was unnatural.
I didn't believe him. I told him I would check it out the next night and no matter how hard he tried to convince me otherwise, 500 cash moneys sounded too good to be true. I had to go. I set out the following night.
When I arrived, I immediately noticed something strange about the building. It was shaped like a dome, but was just a rock. Have you ever seen or read something that shouldn't be scary, but for some reason a chill crawls up your spine? I walked toward the building and the feeling of uneasiness only intensified as I tried to find the front door.
All of the sudden, a skeleton popped out and I fell unconscious.
I woke up in a sandy room. The room looked like a normal hotel lobby decorated for Halloween. A sign was posted in place of a worker. It read, "Room 1 this way. 69 more follow. Reach the end and you win!"
Pissed, I yelled "WHERE'S MY CASH MONEY?" Then I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw EVIL PATRIXXX!!!!!11!!1!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!1!!11!!
EVIL PATRIXXX said "What the fuck are you talking about? I thought you were here to be my sex slave."
"Ummm... no. Can you lead me to the exit?" I said.
"Okay" EVIL PATRIXXX said with a grin on his face.
He escorted me to a room labeled "Room 69." He shoved me inside and locked the door. Inside Room 69 was a theater. They were playing some sort of training video on "How to be EVIL PATRIXXX's assistant. It was extremely disturbing. It showed how to suck his starfish dick and how to drink his ball juice. After 13 minutes of this, I said "fuck it" and killed myself.
The end.